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Who’s that knocking at my door?

Two weird doorstep encounters this week:

11.15pm Tuesday – loud knock at front door. We’re watching TV. My thoughts immediately turn disaster-wards – family accidents, distressed neighbours, passing drunks? But no – we open the door to find a Tesco crate in the porch. The delivery driver is back at his van collecting the next one. We rarely shop at Tesco and have been unable to secure any supermarket’s delivery spots this year, so this was more than a surprise, especially given the time of night. In fact, it was for an address more than a mile away – same house number, similar (but not the same) road name and completely different postcode. The driver seemed singularly unimpressed with us!

2pm Wednesday – another loud knock at the door (we do have a sign which asks people to knock LOUDLY because our bell doesn’t work – why don’t we fix the bell? Hmm.) This time I am braver, and hope it’s the early delivery of something I’ve ordered. But no – the cheery bloke with a face visor announces that he’s from Britain’s Got Talent and wonders whether we have anyone in our house who might be interested. I excitedly respond that, yes, several people might indeed be up for this. He beams even further, pleasantly startled perhaps – and points to the accreditation badge around his neck. Of course, I can’t exactly read what it says, but sadly he has to admit that he is, in fact, from one of those organisations that suggests you change your household energy provider. I express sincere disappointment – as does my other half who has overheard from upstairs and come down to investigate further. Once we have confirmed that we are entirely happy with our existing energy package, the chap gamely returns to his original theme and asks what talents we could have offered. Myriad talents of course, but drumming was first mentioned. We could go on… He apologises for the disappointment, but we part on excellent terms. If only we had more of this – I truly hope he got some ticks in his performance box or even a Golden Buzzer.


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